This is a journey on becoming what you hate, reflecting how you got there, and how to get back from it, if you can.
Penance of the Byronic Hero
by Paula Macena
Genre: Narrative Poetry
Penance of the Byronic Hero is a narrative poetry collection that highlights emotional trauma in religious upbringings, specifically within marginalized communities, and how it reflects on personal relationships. Separated into four different acts, it recounts heavy topics in their rawest form, including mental illness and domestic violence, and the perspective of one who is toiling through these things and attempting to find a way out.
Penance of the Byronic Hero is full of
heartache and beauty. Both the wonders and pains that come with the act of
living. -Goodreads review
I was slightly skeptical of this book as I
don’t tend to enjoy poetry collections. I find them to be disjointed,
overelaborate, and somehow still flat and distant. Paula’s book was none of
those things. The writing were clear reflections of a series of experiences and
ideas. Acute relatability yet still unique expressions existed on every page. -Goodreads review
GUEST POST
I can’t remember ever not being a writer. I started when I was about seven years old, with a short song and a melody in my head, and quickly worked my way up to poems and full novels before I was in middle school. I self-published when I was 13, and again at 15, and submitted poems and short stories to magazines while in college. It took time to craft a writing style that felt entirely like me, but Penance of the Byronic Hero was the first collection that I didn’t have imposter syndrome about.
I’ve always been a lover of fiction works, especially the process of character-building. In writing these poems, most of which were written in the span of a month, I found myself subconsciously building a storyline that follows a character who fits the trope of the Byronic hero. When people would ask me what my book is about, I’d say, “Well, imagine if the Byronic hero had a redemption arc.” The melancholy, troubled character who keeps everyone at arm’s length—what if they learned to love again?
It’s been a year now since I published this book, but three years since I wrote the majority of these poems. Every time I do a poetry reading, this book still contains some of my favorites to read. I hope you’ll love reading them, too.
But I’m
Still Looking for Answers
You used to go to an old coffee shop downtown,
which I usually ignore,
but this time I went inside
to see what was so good about it—
There had to be a reason why
you loved it so.
I still remember your favorite drink.
Only because you’d come see me everyday
with a steaming hot cup of it in your hand,
saying it tasted like vanilla and chocolate
and every good thing.
Oh, you’d brag about it.
So that's what I order today when I go inside:
to see what was so good about it.
Because there had to be a reason why
you loved it so.
As it turns out,
the old coffee shop wasn't all that great.
It had yellow walls with peeling paint,
and tired people rubbing their eyes,
trying to chase the sleep away.
Sure, it smelled of vanilla,
but it also reeked of the man's cigarette
who always takes the booth in the corner
next to the biggest window.
And as I took a sip of your favorite drink,
I found that
it wasn't that great either.
You always saw things differently than me, and
I don't know why I'm only realizing that now.
There was no particular reason why
you loved this place
or this drink so.
And there was no particular reason why
you loved me
so.
Love
Language
I'm tired of small
talk.
Tell me: Do you
believe in soulmates? How about God?
When was the first
time you saw your mother cry?
When was the last time you told her you loved her? Do you love her?
Let’s go cliff
jumping,
skydiving,
run through a
minefield and see who dies first.
Make me feel something even if it’s fear.
Strap TNT to my ankles
and tell me that I’m beautiful.
Tell me that I dress
like your favorite song.
Tell me that my hair
falls on my shoulders the same way your imaginary friend’s did,
that my lips are the
shape you saw that one night
when you were staring at a ceiling you did not recognize.
Tell me that I am
ordinary and then treat me like I am anything but.
Kiss me only if you
promise to either forget my name in the morning
or get it tattooed on
your thumb.
Tell me I’m crazy but
say it like you mean it.
Say it with a smile.
Don’t tell me that
you’re different,
just hold me as if you
could be.
As if God (if you
believe in one, I’m still waiting for your answer)
could reach down and
suck the depression out of your hippocampus;
as if I could have the same mental stability or lack thereof as your dream girl.
Don’t tell me your
favorite color,
just tell me that my
voice sounds like it.
Guess my ring size so
you can tie a thread around my finger,
so I’ll never forget the shape of your broken promises.
Don’t stay with me
until the morning, be romantic about it.
Put some effort in,
show me your creativity.
Tell me you’ll stay
with me until you make up your own constellation in the sky.
Name it after me.
Don’t keep me from
laying on the highway, lay with me.
Don’t stop me from
jumping off the bridge, jump with me.
If you’re a bird I'm a bird, right?
Then baby, let’s fly.
I'm tired of small
talk.
Tell me: Do you
believe in soulmates? How about God?
Tell me, “I don’t
know, I don’t know—but if I did,
I'd think that God
looks something just like you.”
Book Links:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Penance-Byronic-Hero-Paula-Macena-ebook/dp/B0C5F18KYR
Bookbub: https://www.bookbub.com/books/penance-of-the-byronic-hero-by-gen-z-publishing-and-lisa-wood
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/156669288-penance-of-the-byronic-hero
About the Author
Paula Macena is, above all, a writer. Aside
from being published in Jr High the Magazine, Culturally Arts Collective, and
Prometheus Unbound, her most recent poetry collection, Penance of the Byronic
Hero was released in June 2023. In her pursuit of shedding light on
marginalized writers, she hosts local writers’ events throughout Southern
California. When she isn’t writing, you can find her making too much coffee,
watching The Vampire Diaries, and staring lovingly at her cats
Website
* Youtube * Instagram * Goodreads
Author
Links
Website: https://www.paulamacena.com/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/paulinha2002
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/plutopaula
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/14726762.Paula_Macena
Giveaway
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Thanks for sharing. Sounds like a good book.
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